Here Comes the Cries

I had a dream I was supposed to get married today. I had no suit, no money, nowhere to take my bride for our honeymoon. The food was being provided out of love by my mother, but for some reason she thought it was my wish to have squid for an appetizer. I wanted to call my girlfriend, but I knew that was bad luck. So I just sat on the toilet and cried. My brother came into the bathroom, which was some huge room, to get dressed. He kept telling me to make the best of it. I pointed at my pants and said, “See these? These are my best pants, and they’re covered in butter!” Andrew G Grant wanted to be in the wedding, but we were so ill prepared that I hadn’t even sorted that out yet. The date had rushed up on me and left me stunned. I looked in the mirror at myself and wept, my pants still undone from my extended stay on the toilet, and I said aloud to myself, “See?! This is why I want to make my money BEFORE I get married.”

Eating squid in my work pants…Image

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3 comments

  1. You know what that dream means? It means you fear becoming impotent. The squid is symbolic of a flaccid penis. The butter is symbolic of a flaccid penis. Nowhere to take your bride? Surely she you can’t take your honey to the moon with a flaccid penis. If you look down as you sit on the toilet you would see, through teary eyes, a flaccid penis. “I looked in the mirror at myself and wept, my pants still undone.” What is it that you see? A flaccid penis. ‘Andrew G Grant’ is an anagram of ‘flaccid penis.’ Oh, and the marriage part added a hint of fear of castration. That was easy. You’re welcome.

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