Post Modern Carol

Wrote a new Christmas Carol for you folks. (To the tune of “Jolly ‘Ole St. Nicholas.”)

Jolly ‘ole St. Nicholas
Loves to laugh at me.
Every year dick-a-less
Leaves nothing at my tree.

Pumpkin and cinnamon,
Peppermint and pine.
Wishing I were thin again,
But food, I won’t decline.

Spending time with family,
Silent night so fine.
Unless of course you are me,
And that family is mine.

I’ve got two blackened eyes,
An arm in a sling,
Just from going after buys
The day after Thanksgiving.

I wonder how Jesus feels
Every time we say
We should have his birthday meal
On a pagan holiday.

So set up that evergreen tree.
Light up all the lights.
Turn on the Nutcracker Suite.
Merry Christmas to all tonight.

It's a Wonderful Life

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