Chick Flicks

Maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s just because I don’t have lady parts. But I don’t get it.

I could use the spread gun and shoot at every target, but let’s be more succinct and take just one well-placed pot shot.

Yesterday I watched a film called “Maid-of-Honor.” Okay, it wasn’t a film, it was a movie. No. It was a flick. A chick flick. The plot is about a man and a woman who are best friends. He’s banging everything with legs, and she’s got feelings for him. Of course! Who wouldn’t want to be with this man with the magical jiggling parts!? She leaves for a six week trip to Scotland, and while she’s gone, he realizes he’s in love with her. Great! Except when she comes back, she’s engaged to a man with even more magical jiggling parts. She asks her b-f-f to be her m-o-h, and he agrees only to get her to call off the wedding and marry him.

Now, I’m not one to back a marital union that is cemented in a relationship that’s only lasted two months, but this movie is really, really dumb. The chick flick takes it’s time showing how our intrepid, sexually motivated hero is not as good as the groom. He’s not as athletic, successful, nice, or – as mentioned – hung. She’s clearly snagged the perfect guy here. If Hollywood were brave enough, they could have made this a true film They could have made a bold statement about letting go of your libido and having a strong and loving platonic friendship between a man and a woman. Instead, this movie ends with the tripe formula of every other romantic comedy. He runs to her, she runs the rest of the way, he makes a fool out of him self in public without fear of anyone thinking less of him for expressing his feelings, and they make out a lot. They do this at the wedding chapel, and she calls off the nuptials mid-ceremony.

Yep. Like, I said, maybe it’s the fact I don’t have lady parts to quiver at this moment, but I really don’t get it. All I took away from this movie was that he was a doosh bag and she was a slut. And the “perfect man” will be emotionally crippled for the rest of his life so the other guy – who must have contracted every std in New York – can settle on the one who’s been there the whole time.

Gag!

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